Ride the Wave
by Death and Destruction
Summary: When the group and Sesshomaru get transported to Earth, a terrible thing, spawned of madness occurs... If you're looking for highclass, intelligent, or even nonpainful writing, go somewhere else. Humorous oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, I never owned Inuyasha, I will never own Inuyasha, and chances are, if I try to ever change this fact, I will be killed in an unpleasant manner, possibly including removal of various body parts. I also don't own the characters involved, or the fangirls, though I am desperately trying to change that.

Sesshomaru cursed. Not your normal curse, which involves four letter words and will get you in trouble with anyone who has seen the inside of a church in the last year or so, and not the type of curse that involves people's firstborns having a horrible attraction to corpses, but the sort of curse that sailors wish they could commit, the type that attracts foul weather when it is spaketh, (for such curses cannot be simply spoken), the type of curse that is the bane of all small greenery, indeed, Sesshomaru found himself inside a rapidly growing circle of dead grass and blasted earth, with a tiny raincloud just above his head, trying valiantly to create a raging thunderstorm that such curses should make appear, but failing. But it should be mentioned that this little cloud was trying, and giving his all, and that sort of dedication needs rewarding.

Sesshomaru was rather upset, as previously mentioned, and showing he was upset, which is ever more rare, because he was no longer in his era. He was out of place, out of time. In other words, for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, he had found out Kagome's road wasn't a one-way trip. He was in the modern era, and in an alternate dimension besides. He was on Earth. Our Earth, to be exact. He's still here, as far as I know. Look out, he could be right behind you, looking over your shoulder. Anything's possible.

It is at this point that Sesshomaru marshaled his thoughts, and realized he really couldn't figure out how he got here. He was convinced that Naraku was involved, and that he didn't like the fact that he was here, but he didn't know why. His logical mind quickly went through various reasons or possibilities, which I will now recount for you, because I'm just so nice.

1. Naraku cursed me, and I'll have to do or find something in this era to break the curse.

2. The Tetsaiga used some never-known power that made the Backlash wave look like a watergun, and sent me here, in one of my unending fights for possession of the overcompensater-2000

3. The darkness within his evil, evil soul sent him straight to Hell, but accidentally bought him the wrong ticket, and sent him to Earth instead. It's really not hard to believe, considering how close they really are.

4. The Author, being the lazy jerk that he was, sent him here because he felt like it and didn't bother to think of a reason.

Now, the possibilities could stretch further than that, but in truth it is one of those reasons. We'll say it's number 3 for now, but it really doesn't matter all that much. And if anyone has a problem with that, then I've heard the combination of the alt and F4 keys will make any document look better.

However, it really doesn't matter. You see, the arrival of Sesshomaru, (and Inuyasha, and Miroku, Sango, Kagome, and the rest of the group) had caused, for lack of a better phrase, "A great disturbance" In what this great disturbance occurred, I cannot say. It is deep within the darkness, which we cannot look within, for it is madness. You know, like Sesshomaru's soul.

The net result was, about an hour ago, when Sesshomaru arrived upon the grass of the central plains of the United States, in Kansas, by some grotesque irony, brought on because whatever sadistic Hand that was controlling this narrative felt like it, a sort of Ripple went out into the world, unnoticed by most, but gaining in power and touching a certain group, a specific demographic of a demographic, the most dangerous people on the planet.

Those touched were… Well, who they are will be revealed shortly. Right now, Inuyasha and his merry band of misfits are approaching Sesshomaru, and he makes a mental note to cross off Number 2 from his list, leaving only 1 and 3. 4 is not an option, and never will be. The ensuing dialogue was full of wit and incredible displays of intelligence, a philosophical debate the likes of which none have ever seen… Ok, who am I kidding. The conversation went around the lines of Inuyasha screaming at his brother for sending them there, Sesshomaru coldly laughing and berating his brother for making such a huge mistake to send them here, with Kagome attempting in vain to calm them down, while Miroku and Sango went off alone. What happened afterwards isn't documented, but Miroku returned with a broken nose, while Sango looked refreshed and happy with the world.

It was then the two demons picked up the sound. A sound they had heard before, upon the shores of their isle. The sound of a horrible wave, a wave to end all waves, one which could ignore all of the land between it and it's objective. Getting into fighting positions, the group looked at the source of the sound, each picking a different direction. For my slow readers who have gotten to this point, that means the wave had surrounded them. The rumbling sound grew in intensity, causing such pain that Kagome and Sango buried their heads in there respective male's chests, Inuyasha simply in pain, Miroku wishing he had thought of that first, as Sango had a lot more padding to cover such sound. He made a mental note to speak to her about the natural protection attributes of her chest area later, and to begin a thorough series of tests to determine how well they reacted to various types of stimuli. However, even his mind was snapped from the subject of a woman's body by the sight of what had made the horrible noise. For cresting the horizon, hundreds of feet high, from all directions was coming a plague to make all others weep, one that would forever be remembered throughout the ages… For Sesshomaru's arrival had indeed touched a class of humans, and they had arrived. Closing in rapidly upon our heroes and single bastard was none other than…

_Sesshomaru Fangirls!_

Indeed, that breed of woman who breathes heavy at the thought of long silver hair, warms with the idea of his claws against their skin, begins to pant at the idea of his fur caressing their sensitive… back. Yep. That's what they act like. But in this case, it was not just the picture and their imaginings, no indeed, for before them, a spark of joy amidst the bleak mundane existence of guys who get wierded out when they are asked to bite them, and run when the silver hair dye is broken out, is their lord, their savior, their GOD… Sesshomaru.

And he, unknowing his peril, was merely readying his claws against an attack. For that is when they were hit. His initial strikes tearing into the screaming horde, their cries of ecstasy their final words before resigning into oblivion, his touch their last feeling, in heaven no matter where they ended up. However, there was no end to them, and the rest of the group had decided immediately upon noting that they were not the targets of the swarm to allow Sesshomaru to his fate, because let's face it: the group of them could only be considered heroes on a good day, and this is a really bad day. Saving the bad guy can come later, after a hot bath and maybe something alcoholic to drink. And maybe after they finally find that shikon jewel thing. And maybe, just maybe after all that, they'll get around to saving the guy who wants nothing less then their horrible deaths. Or they could just sit back and laugh. Which, without coincidence, is what they began to do, with the exception of Miroku, who was using Shippo as a surfboard, riding the wave of fangirls, picking out the ones that look good to him and inviting them to become the mother of his children. Surprisingly, none of them took him up on his offer, and he vowed this was the last time. He would nevermore ask a woman to bear his children. Women, such cruel and fickle things, were not for him anymore. They were not worthy to have his child! They… Wow! That one has a nice butt! "Excuse me miss, but…"

Meanwhile, Sango was simply watching him grow more and more bruises with a wonderful satisfaction, keeping count so that later she could give him twice as many. No way any other female is getting a hit on her man! His body was hers to hurt. Kagome and Inuyasha, on the other hand, were simply laughing; one with relief the wave hadn't targeted her love, her life, the one she couldn't live without… Oh MY GOD! I'm three feet away from him! Darkness… approaching, life… not worth living… must, get within ten inches… there, better. Inuyasha looked down at Kagome in puzzlement as she regained her color, her face that had been approaching the pale of death coming back to life as she clung to him. He then shrugged. He didn't care, not really. After all, she wasn't poking at his ears, that really hurts when she did that, but he would never say it. Besides, she wasn't sitting him, the bills for filling in those holes in the landscape were really piling up. So he just sat there, watching the various shows in front of him, and between watching Miroku being beaten and Sesshomaru swamped, he had a lot of amusement in the time ahead.

As for our poor hero…anti-hero… not quite a villain? Sesshomaru, he found himself in the very center of a teeming mass of feminine flesh, a target of women's lust and men's envy. He was very popular at the moment. Everything from women to rockets seemed to be converging on his position, and he didn't like a bit of it. The first thing to go had been the fur over his shoulder, his cries as his tail was torn from his body, and he immediately decided that anyone he saw wearing real fur would be killed on the spot. Painfully. With tweezers. But his future fur-wearing genocide was the least of his worries, as in their haste to get at his flesh; his clothes were soon removed, other than a tiny strip, to ensure that the anime could be released in America without any difficult restrictions. He was starting to look rather ragged, given that tiny bits of him were being torn off from the rough handling he was getting, the females surging forward, fighting amongst themselves for the honor of getting to touch the object of their lust and worship. The fighting between the fangirls became rather frenzied, and soon a sort of order had been established, the ones who had thought to bring the metal finger armors and heavy rings gaining dominance, getting closer every moment to the now comatose Sesshomaru. The losers waited for their chance, knowing it would never come, their spirits crushed as the blood stains the ground from their many wounds. Serious business, this.

Then as quickly as they came, they left. In their wake, torn but not dead, his broken form covered in perfume, makeup, and lipstick, lay Sesshomaru. The wave departed, each woman going where they came from, returning happier than ever before. The ripple finishes, the tiny waves in the fabric of reality ceasing, normalcy returned, for now, until the fangirls get tired of pining over posters and plushies, and yearn for the real thing again.

Miroku: After the "incident" made millions from videotapes of the women fighting over Sesshomaru. Took over Playboy, styled it "Playmonk." His latest release garnered record sales, and he currently has over 20 sons.

Sango: After Miroku left her, became very upset and took it out on men in general, is currently serving the second of 5 life sentences for the murder of over 700 men, styled the "manslaughterer"

Shippo: After growing up and passing puberty, became the leader of an organization to help with abused orphans, citing his unhappy childhood and abusive father figure (Inuyasha) as reasons.

Kagome: After becoming married to Inuyasha, was found to be mentally ill of several different psychosis after it was determined that she would follow Inuyasha around, making sure he didn't get near other women, and became physically ill upon separation. Is currently in rehab, and progress looks good, she may be out in ten years or so.

Inuyasha: After being forcibly divorced from Kagome, (and a restraining order gained) turned his talents of strength to the military, and is currently the leader of the U.S. Delta force, and was instrumental in the removing of several dictatorships in South America.

Sesshomaru: After intensive care from an all-straight-male hospital/ICU unit, he managed to gain some semblance of his former power. Escaped about last week, and has since vowed "revenge." On whom is not known, though… One moment, there's someone at the door.

Manuscript Ends>


End file.
